Crawling off the Edge

Yesterday, I had a bone marrow biopsy and heart scan scheduled that had me on edge, we all know the feeling.  The biopsy was easy.  The massive heart scan plate centered itself over my heart, but I was no longer in the room, I was running, ammo was scattered across the ground, Tommy’s body was next to his overturned jeep.  I knelt, felt for a pulse and started my CPR checks, head, chest, arms…..the lower half of his body was gone.  I lifted his head up and cried.  I have not gone back to my first soldiers death for many years, why today, and then I realized, Tommy had come back to remind me, I’d had lived through much worse days.  

Starting a New Day

We entered the elevator together and I heard them talking about going home.  I ask “Where are you from?” and he told me they lived on a beautiful lake in Arkansas.  When I was a Boy Scout, every summer my troop camped for 2-weeks in Arkansas.  In Scouts my nickname was “Trees” for I climbed faster and higher than most, but my real value was being the first scout up and starting the morning fire using just the left over coals.  I still practice this today, getting up early, starting my day with prayers / meditation that connect me to the “be” part of me, and stokes my passion for life and another day.  How do you start your day?  

Last Golf Lesson

My dad was born in Punxsutawney PA in 1914, and after flying in WWII, and Korea he lived over 50 years in Baton Rouge.  He loved to play golf.  On one of our last family visits with him he took us golfing.  His cancer and chemo had left him too weak to play, but we’d park his cart close enough for him to provide a few last golf lessons, or were they life lessons.  Toward the end of the day I was blessed with one last lesson from my dad on a short putt, “Billy widen your stance, set up a stronger base / foundation, feel it, believe, and let go!”  Today, feel it, believe and let go! 

Washout Days

Several weeks ago I stopped taking my pill that blocked the androgen receptors and prevented my cancers growth.  My cancer had found new sources of androgen fuel, so we decided to move to a more aggressive offensive strategy.  I’ve noticed little things that I’d lost, during these washout days.  Like the softness of my wife’s hair, or how I feel when I first hear her voice in the morning.  Yesterday, we enjoyed the sunshine, and spent the afternoon on our picnic blanket at a Rice University park.  Surrounded by families, dogs, and kids I watched the sun go down, and noticed how MaryBeth’s eyes, reflected the setting sun, and with my finger, I traced the sun’s blushing smile as it spread across her cheeks.    

LSU Gift of Teamwork

I grabbed the first sweatshirt I could reach and as I read “LSU Tigers” across its front I was immediately standing on the 50 yard line in Tiger Stadium, handing the game ball to the officials.  The roar of the 68,000 fans is indescribable, and as I turn to run off the field, I do what I did at every game and wave to my dad sitting in the nosebleed section.  I was the first head football manager to receive a full scholarship at LSU, but what I learned about teamwork became so much more valuable and has lasted a lifetime.  Today, I again wave to my dad way up in his nosebleed seat, “Thanks dad!”  Thank someone today for believing in you.  

Take Time to Reenergize

The meeting in Austin had a good start with several excellent presenters, lots of dialogue, and an evening social at a Speakeasy.  But I was tired, and realized I needed some self-time to reenergize, so I didn’t attend the social.  Tony Schwartz, in his book “The Way We’re Working Isn’t Working, builds a strong case for how after only 90 minutes of high-intense work, our bodies begin to shut down, and our thinking becomes more reactive than reflective.  That evening, I took a walk, watched the sun go down, ate a relaxing supper in a small diner, and sat on the back porch of the B&B with the back porch cat purring on my lap.  How will you use self-time today?

Attitude Air Steps

I took one last breath before my air step, and then I was falling.  It was my first time to rappel with a M60 machine gun and I started to flip as the ground came up way too fast.  It was last time I made a hard landing carrying the M60, for I’ve been blessed with a “can do” attitude.  This week I learned my cancer has spread to my hip bones.  On a walk two nights ago with my wife MaryBeth, we stopped  under a Live Oak tree, our symbol of love, and I told her how we were starting a new chapter in my cancer journey, and I had no doubt we’d do it “well”.  Take an air step with me today.